A little reflection on my time with Grow Cheshunt.

Grow Cheshunt was the brain child of a multitude of conversations in the midst of a changing political social and natural world.

Me, my brother Ciaran and friend Bex came together after the weird summer of 2016 to begin a journey of self discovery and out right expression of what we’d always wanted to see in the world … and in cheshunt.

All experienced travel and wanting to bring a part of the world we’d experienced back here we set up a community allotment on Dark Lane for ‘the year of environement’ but soon found ourselfs devising plans of Swap shops, open mics and comedy nights to reach audiences we thought we might never meet.

For me it was a journey of self discovery, of how to figure things out even if your scared or uncomfortable or unsure of alot. It was failures and hard conversations with community. It was a shared process that offered insight in to how to approach communication in community. How to not put yourself first, but not loose your values.

To this day I am still questioning…what kind of person am I within in a community? what do others see in me? What am I not? How can I speak with integretiy in difficult situations? How can I listen more? How can I both understand my limits but follow through ? How do I not burn out? How can I help others not burn out? How do I be a good alley for those whos voices are not heard? How can I help others be heard? 
How can we do this, together, with reflection, observation and wellbeing at the heart?

In the midst of 2020 I stepped back from being Chair of Grow Cheshunt to observe how I was feeling, I had spent the last year trying to find a place for myself in a ‘career’ outside of my voluntary role. thinking about where we we’re at and how I felt about being more of a leader which for some reason felt really uncomfortable for me.

We had just gotten a grant for our Young Persons Open mic when the pandamic hit , There we’re lots of conversations about Looking at sustaining our selfs, becoming incorporated as a community project, developing the arts in our area and how the allotment fit in this all looking at who we are as individuals and what roles we we’re taking.

I couldn’t carry on being a leader at this time, I was grappling with my identity within the voluntary sector. I felt like I was having an understanding that within broxbourne, I was mostly seen as a volunteer. 

Along side Bex and Ciaran we had successfully applied for a grant for Grow Cheshunt, I had just received a development Grant from an artist network for my own creative work and I had run some workshops with Grow Cheshunt and Independently in 2019 that meant I was building a portfolio for myself within and outside of community. 

I was starting the project ‘Mapping Broxbourne’ which was inspired by the Borough of Broxbournes creative Partnership, by Grow Cheshunts workshops and my conversations with other organisations and artists outside of the area.

it was me as an artist exploring my interests making maps with the community of Broxbourne Borough, doing research and having conversations outside of the area I lived. I was expanding my knowledge of social practice …which Grow had a massive part in… I was beginning to understand how the ethics of permaculture were playing a part in this… how creative consultation and embedded evaluation were key parts of who I am as a social artist… I was trying to figure out how working wit the earth, with people and wider issues all fitted together for me .. without screaming with overwhelm! 

Me , Sunny (youth worker& musician) and Elliott (session musician& Drum teacher) were also running an online programme of workshops  thanks to the Herts community Grant that held space for a small amount of young people from our physical open mic space to keep the conversation going, not feel as lost in Covid as they might have and feel the energy that we’d all built around this project.

STILL WRITING…..